Okay so as I wrote before my BF for 17 years asked me to be her Maid of Honor at her wedding, and of course since I thought I would just be another bridesmaid, and not the maid of Honor, I was very honored and said yes.

Now, my Maid of Honor title is not so Honorable, as her sister is now also Maid of Honor.She asked me if not having her sister as maid of honor was wrong, and I was like” look you can have as many “MAID OF HONORS” as you like, nothing about wedding is traditional anymore(that’s the right thing to say, right?) .Well little be known-st to me, in fact, that her sister is now a maid of honor too.

 I didn’t think I would feel this way, but now to me,I guess Im just a bridesmaid now. Everyone in the wedding is gonna believe that she made ME maid of honor just because, and that her sister was the original. when I was the original, and her sister was added, I am pissed, but there is nothing I can say to her, so I am writing about it here.

I guess, she hasn’t asked me to help with anything, and this wedding is happening in Sept. and now the more and more I think of it, the more and more I am getting pissed. I guess, I am just suppose to spend my money on the dress she wants, and blah, blah, blah, and throw her the bachelorette party/Bridal shower..my part is all about money, I guess.

The true reason I am feeling this way is because, she has got the Invitations, The dress, the site, and the reception hall all done, she even has a wedding site up! who helped her to do all this? NOT Me,, her sister,  so far I haven’t helped her do anything. what was  suppose to be my part(original MAID OF HONOR) is really being stepped on and turned into nothing,its not so HONORABLE anymore.

 I guess, I just have to sit and wait for her to see what she wants me to do!

I know a part of me is being selfish, but the other part of me, just wants to walk the fuck away. this hurts, and she don’t even know. I’m not gonna tell her, because what can I say? you can’t have your sister as maid of honor? that would be Way, fucked up, and I ain’t doing that. I wanted to take her to a Bridal show we were having here soon, and she’s like Ill have to check my schedule. We have no closeness, I truly have no Idea why I am even part of this wedding.  I kinda just wanna walk away. I so sick of being hurt, by people who claim to care about me, but their actions show they truly don’t. I AM SICK OF IT!