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fucked up Yesterday.how ( since you may wonder)
well 1st, let me say in my very little defense. Tha lady who set up the appt, told me that I would ONLY, need my social security card, and Id.
So, as I took a little more time to get ready to be presentable (make-up, and clean hair). and then I started wondering where the hell is my wallet that my soc.sec, card is in. thinking I just saw it a couple days ago, so as I started looking forit in the obvious places it should be, and not finding it, I started to panic. If it’s not where it should be, then it’s somewhere that I won’t be able to find it. My appt, was @ 3: and I looked until 2:55, and then I was like well whatever I can just go, and get the paper work done,and they can sopy it later. I finally give in, and decide to the appt, anyway, because I don’t like to waste other people time. This was a school that I was gonna be attending so I didn’t want to make a bad impression and not show up for an appt “just because”.
I get to the school, check in, and meet with the guy, we get into the office, and I tell him straight out that I couldn’t find my soc.sec, card, so he’s like oh no big deal, you can bring it back when you do. whew (that was such a relief) Well, then we start doing the paper work, and he ask “do you have your 2006 taxes?” um, no. so we go on and he ask if I have these other things. and I am like um,, no. I was told I only needed my soc.sec. card, & iD, sorry. The whole thing became a major disaster, as I see it.
I ended going up right over to the soc sec office to get a new card right away, it will be mailed in 7-10 business days. which won’t help, because I rescheduled to have all the papers needed by Friday (tomorrow) and get it all done.
So, now people I have some serious purging, and papers that I have to find. I need
1. TAXES ( I know where they are EXACTLY)
2. My fafsa pin.
3.soc.sec, card.
4. oh yeah, and my High School Diploma to copy, and I have no clue where the hell that is, last I know my mom had that to display it. I have no Idea, where she has it.
I am completely stressing. I don’t know if I will find this stuff, and I have a feelin that if I don’t, I will completely give up and say FUCK IT.
Where the hell is J.Lo + her new babies? I mean there has been NO word on even if she had the bambinos. You think there would at least be some word some where. She and that big ol bump of TWINS has just dissappeared, same in the way that Katie Holmes, and Tom Cruise did. Brad +Angelina @ least told people that Shiloh, was born.
J.Lo is so Diva, I also hope that the kids are allright, and that their were no complications in the birth.
Wow, I can’t believe that later today I go in to do my F.A. ( Financial Aid) papers to start school in March. I also got sons’ day care papers filled out, there is only one little paper that needs to be signed by a doctor. and then I would start bringing him in On March 1st. Im not totally sure about that yet( that gives him 9 days to get sick), so Maybe I will just bring him in on the day I start school. I gotta say, that though I have had son in daycare before @ the same daycare he will going back to, which I love. I am still nervous, He will be with the toddler group, and they can be rough, and mean. I know the people there will watch out for him, but still its nerve racking. On the + side, he will be with other kids and get to socialize. Son, is not little for his age, but I am afraid he will be pushed around. I think he will be in with other kids 2-4 y/o, and considering he is only 2 and a 1/2, the 3 and 4 y/os’ do worry me.
I am once again worrying about the “what ifs” , “maybe” and all that other things. Geeze, I just gotta keep my mind positive, just keep my mind on the RIGHT NOW. don’t worry, when there is nothing for sure to worry about YET.
ain’t I just plain sunshine?
Oh, man, Son is gonna be such a boy! He came in and all of a sudden grabbed my hand a held my pointer finger, smelled it, pushed it away, and said “pew” I was like what the hell? so I immediately smelled my finger like what the hell, my finger stinks? he looks @ me and immediately starts giggling really hard, like HA HA, I got you!, little punk.
I know he will have a good sense of humor when he gets older.I give myself bonus points for that.
I’m free to write FINALLY, and its only 1:35 am.(I know I should be @ least trying to sleep)..what’cha been up to? me? I’ve been staying up extremely late..the other night(Saturday night) I was up til 5am, watching the Suzy Orman show(not just because I wanted to watch the show, but because I had to stay up because mommy dearest was out dancing, and I had to stay up to let her in)
New Subject, My poor son got taken in the the DRs’ on VD(Valentines Day) day, and he was diagnosed with a ear infection. but also given 2 shots. so he was pretty sore, not the best way to have a Holiday, but it NEVER fails, He always has something EVERY holiday. (I’m not sure St,Pattys’ day will count, but I know Easter will, bet ya 5 dollars..) but guess what FUN, he has going on now, Ill give you a clue..he most likely got it from the anti-bio-tics( come on, if you’re a woman, you should have a clue). Yep, he has now got a YEAST infection. My poor son his his butt is so red, and he just wants to itch SCRATCH the hell out of his butt..This is has him like grabbing himself and “adjusting” himself like he is a 40 y/o PRO! So, I ended up running to the store, to get the Yummy VAGINAL FUNGAL CREAM.(great search hit). let me say that nothing will and ever does EMBARRASS me more than having to buy Vaginal Itch cream (search hit again) KY and condoms and spermicide, no problem, but the vag cream is a no no. what made it worse? is that I asked the pharmacist if the percentage I was buying is okay to use on my son.( yeah, he probably thought I was TOTALLY lieing) like, okay woman, just admit that you have a vag infection, you’re not the 1st, and I will tell you IT’S OKAY. I can only imagine the laugh he got when I walked away.
Well its Valentines day, and what can I say I am feeling sorry for myself. I think I am a good woman, and be a good catch for someone who can handle me. I have never cheated on any boyfriend/fiance I have had. So, when I look around and see some of the other women out there, who have men, I compare myself, and I must say I am not completely Ugly, so I start wondering, what the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I have some one to love? Is it because I am a single mother? Is it because I am confident(wait, I am not confident, I do have some low self esteem, I am determined), and can truly take care of me, and my son on my own? is it men that can handle a women who is not needy?
what is it? I do know that I am attracted to a certain type of guy, the baby faced guy, who can usually get ANY woman he wants.
I like younger guys..shit the last booty call I had for a while was 8 years younger than me! so I know I can pull them in, but when it comes to Valentines Day, it makes single people ask ” why am I still single?” if they don’t wanna be. This is the day of year, when all not wanna be single people are questioning themselves and asking “am I love-able?”
I celebrate just a little bit, for my regular Valentines(MOM, bro, son) I give them the regular gifts and cards, but when it comes down to feel good inside, my heart is anything but red, and heading more towards blue.
I am cleaning my stuff and just fucking everything else today, but the little part I did get done so far, made a bigger mess than the original mess than was originally there. how the hell does that happen? how can a mess that I had in the corner turn into a big mess that took over the whole room? jesus, I wish it could be simple.
this is getting difficult and Iam getting discouraged. this is gonna take much longer than I had thought.
Well guess what happened? I got nothing done. I wrote my post and crashed. it is now 12PM, and I only woke up 20 minutes ago. ain’t that shitty? but I did just call to try and make son, a same day doctor appt, but nothing was available for today. so now I have one for 8:40 tomarrow morning. Yes, that mean I gotta wake up all early, but the clinic us seriously like 3 minutes away from my house. Now that is done. check.
My plan for the rest of the day is to not give a damn about the rest of the house, and just take care of my stuff, that really needs to be dealt with.even if it means having son upstairs with me, while I try to get it done. I just need to bite the bullet and do the shit. no more distractions.
I<heart> this video.
