You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2007.
well this day was, blah, I really wanted to get out and do something, but there is no money for it to be done with.
I hate being BROKE! I always get so damn angry, and annoyed, it’s like when I am broke, that’s when everyone else has money to do something and that’s when they invite you out to do something, but no, you can’t, cause you haven’t got the money. life’s a bitch that way.
Good RIDDEN to 007! come on in 2008! after this crappy end to the year of 007, I am completely ready for a new year! I all-ready have plans in place for the coming year. Maybe I am FINALLY gonna growing into my adulthood, I know some people are like, shouldn’t you all-ready be there, you are a parent. Yeah, yeah, but things don’t alwaysgo in the right order for me, not saying I go & buy barbie dolls to play with, but sometimes it does look like it would be fun to do. I still once in a while wanna color in a coloring book (I am the best color-er, ever!) I talking, more career wise, this will be the year I start looking to really start my career, and not just have jobs. this will be the year. My best year ever! 2008, I am feeling ya.Please don’t disappoint me.I know there will be some disappointments, and hard times, but please nothing like this year, OK?, that’s all I ask. as for the bringing in of the new year, my advice DON’T DRINK, & DON’T DRIVE! yep, that’s right, I said, DON’T DRINK. why? who REALLY wants to bring the the new year with a massive hangover? that to me, now would be like bad karma, or something. you think your gonna be ending it happy, but really? it’s more that your starting it off bad. but PLEASE if your drinking, please, please, do NOT drive.
Have fun with friends, and family, and those you know really love you.
Blogiing should be what you want it to be, and what you wanna write, Im very glad that I saw this link on another blog, because it really, ran to heart NOT to worry about, what I have been worrying about with my blogging.
Thanks, Shawn.
what do you do, when its very close to 4am, and your not tired? I think I am gonna try to change my blog layout for 1.
well today was no better than Yesterday, actually it was Way, Way, worse! NOTHING, went right! so anyway as I wrote about earlier, I went back to the office to get help with my paperwork, and the lady, who wrotethe damn appt said you’re gonna have to reschedule, because your appt was @ 12:30, and he has another appt right away. I was like, “what”(grr,you better be joking, look on my face) and I happened to have the card she wrote down my appt on, and said “You, are the one who wrote my appt down on this card for 1:30!”. and she like..”Um, yeah, I just thought about that” its like yeah, well what the hell are you gonna do about it?” AND THEN..she was all like let me see if I can get someone else to help you, fill it out, I was fine with that, I was okay. I just need to get this done, cause if it ain’t I get cut off, and I really can’t afford that right now.(half evil, smiling glare), so she came and took the papers I suppose went and asked a few people, and they we’re like nope. so I am waiting and she comes out and was like the person I signed you up to see is out on lunch, but he’ll be back in a couple minutes, can you wait, I’m like okay, ten minutes, sure I can use patience(for once) and wait. An HOUR later, I was still waiting, and I just decided to leave, and she was like “sorry to have you waiting so long” I was like “3ITCH PLEASE!!” and just shook my head and walked out”
So now, I won’t get that income, and hopefully, son stays healthy and safe, because we won’t have any health insurance when it comes to be Jan 1st.2008. Ain’t that the kinda beginning to the new year, you would want?
Yeah, so anyway, as the day went on, it got worse & worse, can you believe thats possible? I went with my mom to help get stuff she needed for the funeral, and wake.(as I am much more, clear headed) when it comes to stuff like this. I made list of things while she was just trying to remember. we ended up going to 3 different stores, and the 2nd to the last store, the clerk is ringing up my shit, and her cash register breaks, so she calls the manager, and he comes over, fixes it, and tells her you have to start all over. she just got done having rung it all up and it said 13.99, the next time she rings it, it comes to 21.57? strange. so anyway, I had all-ready handed her the 20.00 before the register broke, and now, I hand her another dollar, and she then proceeds to look @ me, and says very irritatedly(word?) I still need .57 cents!” that bitch was so damn lucky she wasn’t on the floor, I could’ve decked her.! how dare she get an attitude with me?
anyway, we came home, and I decided to run, and get something to eat. I get back, eat, feed, and change son, go to check my myspace and there are 2 friends gone. so I check to see if its people I know, or just a band or something. No, it is sons dad, and grandma, who have deleted me off their friends list!! that pisses me off! I am like wtf? don’t you know that cutting me off, cuts you off from the kid? you dumb mother ******? anyway, they did it to themselves! whatever, they will come back and say, well you didn’t call us on Christmas, so that son could talk to his dad, and I will like “excuse me, we had a death in the family, my 1st priority is NOT calling to make sure, that son gets to talk to dad” and then they’ll feel stupid.
what really, REALLY, gets me is she was all, this is hard I am in the middle, that’s my son, and my grandson, blah, blah, blah, and I was like look, actually it has nothing to do with you, this is between ME and YOUR son, about OUR son!(this was before they started pulling petty bullshit), but SHE(grandma) has to make everything about her!!. shes’ chosen her side,and now the road cannot and will not be repaired, I will NEVER,EVER get close to anyone like that AGAIN.
what can I say? except, their loss. I ain’t gonna be hurt long, because they did this to themselves.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I got a ticket for parking on the wrong side of the road during a snow emergency? how the hell am I gonna pay that?
Today was suppose to be a semi-productive day, needless to say it wasn’t. I couldn’t get much done, because well when I am stressed it reeks major havoc on my stomach, of course again this is more likely the stress of the issue with child support.
Man, who would’ve thought something so..gut wrenching, would be so GUT WRENCHING, and have these kinds of affects?
Yesterday was a very very god I don’t even know how to describe it. Surreal?(maybe). My mom found out that her younger sister died Christmas day morning. We had just begun to get over My other Aunts death, who was buried in October.
I had made an Appt. last week to get my renewal papers for health-care, and cash asst. done. otherwise I would be cut off in January, well I went in to only find out that the person she had made the appt with me for does not help people with the thing I NEEDED help with, and that if I could make another appt, to have someone help me ( those forms are confusing), and I have alot of changes coming up, that I don’t know what to write down. so anyway, I was like, all-right, I need to get home, my mom was dealing with son, who is bratty.so I made an appt for tomorrow at 1:30 Pm, since I am not the type of person who can not wake up and run out the door.
all the rest of the day I ended up running around and doing stuff for my mom, who understandably was not in the mood or energy to do what she thought she WOULD be doing.
I did not get to sit down until about 11pm, when she decided to go to bed, needless to say, yesterday was a very long and emotional day.
I just need a cigarette, before I can write about the day from hell, that leaves me, hopeless, unloved, and angry.!!
Yes, I got out of the house for a little while by myself. YAY.
When I was gone, Sons grandma called, and happened to leave a message on the phone, Hi, *******, I was just calling to wish, ******, a Merry Christmas, and his dad was here, and wanted to talk to him, so when you get back, call us, so grandson, can talk to his dad. bye. that is pretty much what she said verbatim.
Now mind you, her messages before the CS(child support issue) her message where like this. “Hi, Hun, I’m just calling to see how you, and son, are doing, so when you have a chance give me a call back”. can you see the difference? yeah, thats what I thought. Me, and her use to talk EVERYDAY! we would talk just about whatever, and now its so strained.
Needless to say I did not call them back, and will not call them, My sons dad needs to grow some balls, and call on his own, and not have his mommy call for him.
and as for my relationship with his mother, and my son grandmother, I am FINISHED, she all of a sudden wants to be cold, then whatever, I know I have written it before, but I gotta do it again to get it stuck in my head.
they can say what they wanna say. I know she is saying shit, and blah, blah, blah, I care but then again, I don’t. she and he are far enough away as to where they won’t affect me. Her son don’t have the balls to even talk to me about going to the county to start the CS proceedings, cause he knows Im in the right, and I am sick of my son taking backseat to his Pitiful life. this is my way to stand up for my son.
whatever I am done, and so is my son, we’ll just have it out in court.
so how was your day?
Well, my sons grandma called the other day, and said well I saw that you called, so I thought I would call and “see if son is okay?” I said well yeah, I was just calling to see how things are going down there? and she’s all “oh nothing new”now mind you this is not are usual, conversation It was really strained and I could tell just from the sound of her voice she really didn’t want nothing to do with me.the tone was not a very happy one, it was a more of a “bitch I can’t believe you are actually gonna take my son to court for child support tone” . I know she feels she can’t say anything to me about it, cause she thinks I will say something about it in court. I knew I shouldn’t have told her, but I needed to give her warning that her son would not be happy, because his boss would be getting wage papers from the county the next day
I DIDN’Twant to tell her, but I knew that EX would be in a bad mood, & I really felt she would need fair warning, of the reason why. I will not be talking to her anytime again soon. not Christmas, not new years not soon. EX hasn’t called either, so, what the fuck ever! he’s an ass who will probably bring up some stupid shit, like, well the truth your honor is..”I really don’t believe he is my son” and in that case I will be like. Mother fucker, YOU and your whole family will punished and none of you will ever be able to see OUR son AGAIN!!{there is NOWAY in hell, that he is NOT the father of my son”} !! and if he really feels that way, then, will we do the DNA and after the test SHOWS he is the father, I am going to tell the judge, I don’t want him to have any access to visitation, {I KNOW that probably won’t happen, but I will try}. His mother on the other hand..well what can I say, I lost a friend, someone who I could call and talk to, but the down side of that friendship was she was ALWAYS making everything about her. On the other hand I know she doesn’t like what Im doing, I know she feels like Im attacking her son, and she ALWAYS sticking up for her kids (even AFTER the many times they have stepped on her, and treated her like shit) but whatever, if that’s how she wants to be, and if that how her son wants to make it, thats how it WILL be, please my son needs family in his life, but not family that will treat him that way, and try and deny him as their own)
Mind you, and ME this is all in my head this is all how I guessing this is how its gonna go. thinking the worse, and not even thinking about the best.
*my son has not received a call from his father, a christmas, card, money, NOTHING.., but yeah, he really cares about him right?
oh and he didn’t get even a card for his birthday either.
